we got screwed

You ever wonder if
the moment
you were conceived
somebody got to
have more fun
than you ever have?

It wasn’t subject to
life-threatening untreatable
viruses

It hadn’t been depicted
& reinterpreted
& overstated

It wasn’t trite

It wasn’t something you had seen already-
digging through yr old man’s porno mags & videos
or whatever else
he was thinking abt
trying to relive
that moment
when yr unfortunate ass
came to be

Didn’t you run across
some of those same images
the 1st time
you logged on?

I bet you wished that
all you had to contend with
were yellowish stained pages
instead of
beating yr brains
for the right keyword

The old man’s stale memories
are better than the dead horse
that you’re left with

Man I bet there were taboos
in the 60s &
maybe even
on into the 70s

“We shouldn’t be doing this”
or, “This is unheard of”

In Zen Buddhism
there is a concept
called to us
beginner’s mind
where you assume
that you are always a beginner
& know nothing

But now that I have told you that
you already know it & the next person that you tell it to
will have to believe
that you knew it first
rather than me

None of us are beginners
because they experienced it
first

Perhaps we are empowered
by walking in their shadows
but empowerment
can be very boring
like beating every game you have
for your PS3 then having to get
the Xbox or GameCube
or a job w/ Homeland Security

Could we ever be overwhelmed?

Could we ever
penetrate anything
when all those
dark places in your head
are now a part
of the landscape?

Sometimes I wonder
if it’s voices in my head
or just crumbs
of the old man’s neurosis
“Give in to it. It’s all you have.
Might as well before
they make you do it anyway”

Man
they even had a war
kinda like ours
& still got to pretend
that they weren’t all
completely alone

I swear I saw a magazine
from back then
& a naked woman was smiling

This is why we never connect-
our Universe doesn’t exist
because of
its stars & planets & inhabitants
She exists
in spite of them

Her physical laws
are no longer compatible
w/ our way of life

We have only
a few epiphanies left

And then-
there will be no more sarcasm
nothing will be figurative
everyone will be
naked & smiling
in some manner

We won’t have to
dance around one another
anymore.

We won’t be able
to bleed each other dry

We don’t know
when we’re bleeding anymore
anyway
Might as well
wait
for that moment
you were cheated out of
when you came to be.